Empower Others

2009 SUMMER SEMESTER

WEEK 2

Leader Challenge: Empower others to serve

God has gifted each person in the body of Christ to serve. We find that in I Corinthians 12, as well as in other places. I believe one of the best places to serve is in the context of a small group. A small group is really a highly relational microcosm of the body of Christ.

So your job as a leader is not to do everything to make the group happen. Did you hear me? The best leaders discover what each individual is gifted to do, and then EMPOWERS them to do it in the context of a small group.

Look at I Peter 4:8-11 with me:

⁸Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. ⁹Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. ¹⁰Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. ¹¹If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ.

Notice that when gifts are exercised in relationships (love), the end result is that Jesus is PRAISED!

Look for things those in your group are gifted at, and then encourage and empower them to use them.

• Empower someone gifted in communication to handle that for the group.
• Empower someone gifted in hospitality to plan your food/snacks.
• Empower someone gifted in mercy to encourage someone who is hurting.
• Empower someone gifted in “partying” to plan a party.
• Empower someone who is organized to coordinate the calendar.
• Empower someone gifted in prayer to keep track of prayer requests and answers.

They will experience joy in the process, and your burden will be lighter.

If I were in coma

Today I visited a man who after a car accident, is not able to communicate. As I talked and prayed with he and his mother, I wanted to cry.

• I saw a mother who desperately wanted to know that her son understood what she and I were telling him.
• I watched a young man who is normally very active have to lie there with tubes and wires hooked up to him.
• I realized how scared this man must be--trapped in a body that in injured inside and out.

My mind moved to the thought: If I were in a hospital bed--unable to communicate, what would I wish I had said?

• Would my last words to my wife have communicated my love for her?
• How would my children remember my last words to them? With kindness and strength, or criticism?
  
• Will I have spoken truth that needed to be said to a friend, even though the words may hurt?

Or what have I said that I wish I could take back?


And then a more sobering thought--one day will be my last, and then my loved ones left behind will remember me by my last words.

What will those words be?

Afraid

A few weeks ago, Paul preached a sermon on Trust vs. Control, and the memory verse that we were challenged to memorize was Psalm 56:3 "When I am afraid, I will trust in you."

Now, I don't consider myself a fearful person. I am not afraid:

• of the dark,
• of spiders,
• of frogs,
• of snakes (when I have a gun).
• of speaking in public.

As a guy, at least I know not to show fear in front of others.

So I am amazed how many times in the last two weeks, that verse has come to my memory. Actually, how many times God has brought it to my mind. I am realizing how many times I am afraid of:

• what others think
• conflict
• making the tough call
• having the hard conversation
• making a mistake
• offending someone

You know, fear paralyzes. Whether it is fear of the dark, of snakes, of mom. Or whether it is fear of others, of failure, or of conflict. Fear causes us to hold back from saying what we need to or taking an action that is necessary.

My prayer to God is "when I am afraid, I will trust in you!!!"

Passion Week

This week, I was reflecting on the events and people in Passion Week. Also on my mind was Paul’s talk this past Sunday on the core attitude of trust vs. control.

At the beginning of Passion Week, the crowd definitely seemed to trust Jesus. They were laying down palm branches and even their own coats for Jesus and his colt to ride on. That was definitely an act of trust. And you know, it seemed easy to trust Jesus when he was their triumphant king leading them to victory.

It is easy to trust when following a triumphant King.

But later on in the week, it seemed another attitude was predominant—one of fear and trying to control.

Our trust, or lack thereof, is revealed not when things are going good,
but when they seem out of control.

• The religious leaders, out of fear of losing their influence, plotted to kill Jesus.
• Judas tried to control his financial destiny by betraying Jesus.
• Peter cut off the high priest’s servant’s ear, in an attempt to control with the sword.
• The rest of the disciples fled, for fear of their own lives.
• Pilate dodged responsibility (stuck his head in the sand) for fear of making the religious leaders mad.
• Peter, out of fear, denied Jesus three times.

If you look at Jesus attitude, it remained one of trust. In the Garden, when He seemed to be battling the cross, he said, “Father, not my will, but yours be done”. He trusted His Father.

Then Jesus showed us the supreme example of trust—HE GAVE HIS OWN LIFE. Even his posture on the cross shows his trust. His arms stretched wide. He did not try to control. HE TRUSTED.

Today, we know the end of the book. We know that the Jesus we follow is victorious. The battle has been won—just read Revelation. So go back to my statement at the beginning:

It is easy to trust when following a triumphant King.

Three Services

This past Sunday, we unveiled that RiverTown will be going to three services beginning on April 5^th. As we all heard, the new service times will be 8 AM, 9:30 AM, and 11 AM. Please understand that this is not because we just want to add a service, but because we MUST. Our services, especially 2^nd service, is consistently running about 75% full, and in a rural area, when a room is around 70% full, people will not come back.

Just to share a statistic with you: During the month of February alone, over 1,000 different individuals attended a Sunday morning service at RCC. With our weekly attendance averaging right around 700, that means many are only coming once or twice. And could the fact that we are full provide a valid excuse for them to miss church?

More service times means more room to invite your friends. Our goal is to have maximum seating at optimal inviting hours. And on Easter Sunday with three service times, we will need all hands on deck. So if you are part of a service team (as a leader I hope that you are), check with your team leader to offer to serve extra. Then come to the 8 AM service and then serve the people who God will be bringing. You can encourage your group to do that same.

And, you really don't want to miss what we have planned for Easter. I know we have said this a lot lately, but it is going to be an incredible message, and I guarantee you won't forget it easily. And that friend who you have been trying to get to come to church--do everything outside of something illegal or immoral to get them to come.

And while we are talking about Easter, it would be a great time of the year to celebrate communion as a group. Attached is a document that gives the Scriptural mandate for communion, and well as some ideas of how to do that in a small group.

Daughter Date

Last night, I had a date with my 11.6 year old daughter. Yes, this year I decided for Valentine's day I would take my girls on a date. Had a great time, and she chose Sonic. Heather is the quiet one of our family, and so it was good to get some insight into what she likes.

It is amazing how my little girl is growing up. This year has made a big difference in her confidence and her personality is really showing. I was able to talk with her about boys (yes, they are interested in her . I am not surprised, but they better keep their distance). We talked about friends, what she wants to be when she grows up, and what is happening in her life this month.

My family is very important to me. We have developed routines that help us stay connected. Things like:

• praying together before bed
• eating together several evenings a week
• asking the kids about their days
  
• playing games together
  

These are all "together" time, but there is also the need for times with individuals.

• A date with my wife every other week
• A date with each of my two girls
• Doing an activity with my son (a date with my son just doesn't work)

This is about developing intentional time with each other. You know, this same principle applies to our small group as well. There are some routines that help us stay connected. They are essential, and without these scheduled time, people would not be able to have shared expectations of what a group is about.

• Weekly meeting that includes Bible study, prayer, food, and fun.
• email and phone communication
• fun times for the families in your group
  

But there are other ways of connecting that will help the relationships to grow deeper with individuals. Some examples are:

• Meeting another guy for breakfast or coffee.
• Golfing together (I just had to put this one in)
• Shopping (although I would know this one from personal experience)
• Working out with someone
• Phone or personal conversations

My point it, the routine and scheduled ways of connecting are important, but they are not enough. We must intentionally seek ways to connect with individuals. It is often that personal time together that help the relationships grow deeper than they are able to during the scheduled times.

Sandpaper

There seems to be one in every group. You know, the person who just seems to rub you the wrong way or as hard as you try, you just can't seem to find anything in common with them. You probably have been in a small group with someone who you dreaded having a conversation with. Or you tried to think of ways beforehand to keep them from talking.

Recently, I attended a conference out of town, and as part of the conference, we were told to find 3-4 others who we didn't know, and sit down and talk about several questions together. I looked around for someone, and there was one guy who just looked lost, so I asked him to join me. We were looking for someone else, and spotted a guy sitting all by himself, so we approached him. (He actually looked like he was looking for a hole to crawl into.)

So the three of us talked--or should I saw that one talked, and the other two of us listened. I tried to redirect the conversation several times, but he always centered it back on him. (In spite of this man's serious dysfunction, one of his primary questions was how he could get ordained. I wanted to find his pastor and warn him.)

So what do you do with someone like this?

First, pray for them. Ask God what he is trying to teach you through this interaction. My experience is that God often puts someone into my life who can be "sandpaper" in my character development. So sincerely thank God for them. God, in His sovereignty, puts people together. And sometimes those combinations are interesting.

Second, give some forethought and prayer to how you can deal with them. Ask God to give you insight into what they really need. Is it attention, is it truth from God's Word, is it showing God's grace, is it the communication of a boundary?

Third, speaking of boundaries, decide what boundaries must be set for the group interaction and for your own personal interaction. Then graciously but firmly communicate those boundaries. Sometimes this is best done individually, and sometimes it is good to involve the whole group. You don't want it to come across as a personal attack. But truth must sometimes be presented.

Remember, you can't fix anyone, but God can. And God often uses people to help in that process. God died for every person, even those who are "difficult people". And when I think of Jesus, he often hung out with the misfits, kooks, and unlovely people. And you know, except for God's grace in my life, I would be one of those too.

Share God's grace and unconditional love, and then watch in amazement as God begins to transform your heart. And He often transforms others as they experience Jesus through you.