The Participation Lid Could be ME

Recently, I heard this statement:  

Anytime someone enters into an environment, they assess that environment -- and people will participate up to that level.

This statement infers that the tone of the environment is often set by the leader, and therefore the leader can be the limiting factor in how people participate.

Here is what I have discovered in years of leading small groups.  God seems to always send people into my group who are higher energy than I am, but they usually don’t engage at that level unless they see me raise my level of engagement.  

• they don’t joke and have fun unless they see me lighten up.
• they don’t get passionate about a service project unless they see me get some passion for a project or encourage other’s passion.
• they don’t care for a need unless they see me care for a need or cheer on someone who does.
• they don’t enter work to connect outside the group unless they see me connecting with people outside the group.

We must look at our small group with a mindset; this is the environment we want to create, and we have to participate at a higher level than we are naturally comfortable with so people can respond or participate up to that level.  Because they will not participate at a higher level.

We are not challenging you to be someone you are not -- just to be others-focused.  You see, when I am others-focused, I think more about what the group needs than what I need.  When I am others-focused, I am willing to move outside my comfort zone because of what it can do for others.

One way you can do this is to celebrate the engagement level of others.  This communicates that people who are participating at a high level -- whether it be a service project, in conversation, in caring for others, in being personally vulnerable to the group -- that kind of participation is celebrated and welcomed and safe and “normal” as part of this environment.

So, in your group, what area can you raise your level of engagement/participation?  Who in your group is pushing the level of comfort (in a good way) and how can you celebrate or encourage them?

Consuming or Communicating

I send and receive a lot of verbal and written words every day.  Whether it is on the phone, talking in person, writing an email, or posting on Facebook or Twitter--there are is a lot of information.  Btu the question I have been asking is: How much of it is really communication?

Consuming

• Writing an email
• Listening in on someone else's conversation
• Carrying on conversation while watching TV
• Stalking people on Facebook
• Watching your twitter feed
• Reading the emails in your inbox
• Listening to sermons online

 Communicating

• Continuing an email thread 
• Engaging in the conversation 
• Talking to a friend with no distractions
• Chatting with someone 
• Direct Messaging in response to a Tweet
• Replying to emails, even if only to say "Got it" 
• Engaging in a small group to share what God is teaching you

It got me thinking…in our culture today, we can easily become consumers of information rather than engaging in communication.  And when we take in information and think that is communication, there are several outcomes that happen.

1. We can become proud because of what we know.
2. We become isolated which results in self-deception.
3. We become judgmental and begin to critique the information we receive.

Here is the big deal, consuming information affects our head; but relational engagement gets to our heart.  And we only change something about ourselves when our hearts are involved.

So here are some practical actions to begin to move from consuming information to communicating effectively:

• Learn to listen actively.  This means listen, without thinking of your response and then repeating what the other person said back to them.  Then you can give your response.
• Reply to emails--it lets people know you read.  (This is one of my pet peeves)
• Move your conversations from surface issues and begin talking about dreams, goals, and feelings.
• Stop the conversations in your head and learn to journal your thoughts.  It helps you untangle them and you can become more confident when you speak in a conversation.

So what else would you add to this list?  What helps you communication more effectively?

Innocent People Suffer

"God has sent me ahead of you to keep you and your families alive and to preserve many survivors."  Gen. 45:7 

Joseph realized that God had stretched him, had positioned him, and refined him for this time.  It reminds me of the quote from sermon yesterday:  "Innocent people suffer when you don't do the good works that God prepared for you to do." Eph. 2:10

If Joseph had not done the good works--even when he was unjustly treated so many times, then his family would have suffered.

Doing the "good works" --doing the right thing is not only in the good times, but also in the hard times.    It is just as important to do the "good works" in the tough times thrust upon us as it is to do the "good works" in the times of our choosing (doing a service project, mission trip, act of kindness).

Joseph did both.  When he was second in command, he did the right thing.  But he also did the right thing in the pit, as a slave, when unfairly accused and imprisoned, when overlooked and forgotten. 

Sometimes our "good works" shine the brightest and make the most impact when we are unfairly treated, taken advantage of, overlooked.

"God, help me to honor you with my "good works" not only in the times of my choosing, but also in the tough times thrust on me.  Help me to remember that you have prepared them in advance to do, so I can rely on your power and strength.  But also help me to remember how important it is to those around me."