Consuming or Communicating

I send and receive a lot of verbal and written words every day.  Whether it is on the phone, talking in person, writing an email, or posting on Facebook or Twitter--there are is a lot of information.  Btu the question I have been asking is: How much of it is really communication?

Consuming

• Writing an email
• Listening in on someone else's conversation
• Carrying on conversation while watching TV
• Stalking people on Facebook
• Watching your twitter feed
• Reading the emails in your inbox
• Listening to sermons online

 Communicating

• Continuing an email thread 
• Engaging in the conversation 
• Talking to a friend with no distractions
• Chatting with someone 
• Direct Messaging in response to a Tweet
• Replying to emails, even if only to say "Got it" 
• Engaging in a small group to share what God is teaching you

It got me thinking…in our culture today, we can easily become consumers of information rather than engaging in communication.  And when we take in information and think that is communication, there are several outcomes that happen.

1. We can become proud because of what we know.
2. We become isolated which results in self-deception.
3. We become judgmental and begin to critique the information we receive.

Here is the big deal, consuming information affects our head; but relational engagement gets to our heart.  And we only change something about ourselves when our hearts are involved.

So here are some practical actions to begin to move from consuming information to communicating effectively:

• Learn to listen actively.  This means listen, without thinking of your response and then repeating what the other person said back to them.  Then you can give your response.
• Reply to emails--it lets people know you read.  (This is one of my pet peeves)
• Move your conversations from surface issues and begin talking about dreams, goals, and feelings.
• Stop the conversations in your head and learn to journal your thoughts.  It helps you untangle them and you can become more confident when you speak in a conversation.

So what else would you add to this list?  What helps you communication more effectively?

If I were in coma

Today I visited a man who after a car accident, is not able to communicate. As I talked and prayed with he and his mother, I wanted to cry.

• I saw a mother who desperately wanted to know that her son understood what she and I were telling him.
• I watched a young man who is normally very active have to lie there with tubes and wires hooked up to him.
• I realized how scared this man must be--trapped in a body that in injured inside and out.

My mind moved to the thought: If I were in a hospital bed--unable to communicate, what would I wish I had said?

• Would my last words to my wife have communicated my love for her?
• How would my children remember my last words to them? With kindness and strength, or criticism?
  
• Will I have spoken truth that needed to be said to a friend, even though the words may hurt?

Or what have I said that I wish I could take back?


And then a more sobering thought--one day will be my last, and then my loved ones left behind will remember me by my last words.

What will those words be?

Communication

This past Sunday, we started 8 new Life Groups at RCC. When starting a new group, the first thing necessary is COMMUNICATION. You cannot overcommunicate.

By the way, this is not important only for new groups, it is important for a group in any stage.

So why is communication from the leader so important?

• It lets people know the obvious things "when" and "where".
• It helps to establish expectations and ease fears.
• It helps the group get to know the leader.
• It affirms that someone is valuable--someone took the time to tell them something.
  
• It can establish the sense of belonging to a group.

What should a leader communicate to the group?

• Time and place.
• What is happening with food or snacks.
• What are we doing with children.
• Do they need to prepare in any way (bring Bible or curriculum, homework, reading, etc.)
• Starting time and ending time.

How should a leader communicate?

A leader should communicate in any way that is effectively received by each individual. Remember, communciate is not just saying--it is not complete until the "receiver" has understood what the "speaker" intended them to hear. Some methods of communication are:

• Face to face
• telephone
• email
• social networking sites like Facebook
• Twitter
• Smoke signals

(the value of the last two is yet to be determined)

Seriously, I have seen all of the above used to communciate in our Life Groups (the smoke signal is a stretch). You have to find out what works for your group. And don't be afraid to try something different. Communication in an unexpected way can yield the greatest benefit. There are some definite advantages of each one, and that might be the subject of another blog entry. But make sure that you communicate.